Hospital

This morning I woke rather late because my room seems to be haunted. Last night I woke up at 2:30am because I heard a noise from my desk. On my desk I have a small jewellery box that has two little doors. I never leave the doors open, and last night one of the doors were opened. Who opened the little door? It wasn't me, my door is locked, and honestly it freaked me out!! That fucker ghost!! 

Later I went to the hospital, such a fucked up place really...people are dying left and right..and honestly at the middle of my volunteering hours, all I wanted is coffee. Isn't that really fucked up? There are nurses that really do care, and then there are nurses that are soo numb to the job, all they really want is to go home and have a drink or two. I understand it's a hard job. 

I had a great time helping people though, I really enjoyed myself talking to patients...exchanging stories or outer body experiences...well not mine but my mother. When she was giving birth to me, she lost a lot of blood due to the inexperience Moran intern that cut my mother the wrong way, and she almost half her blood supply. She told me she was dying...she saw herself float out of her own body, and saw her body being worked on my a staff of nurses and doctors. They saved her, and they saved  me. Thank you!! haha...So the patient that I was speaking to, told me her experience which is similar to my mother's except she said that she felt someone push her back into her body.  Such a weird experience, to almost die. I really do wonder where one goes? Maybe death is really the beginning? We go into another life form...and everyone who has died is living..really living...and they wait for us. 

I want to be greeted by my dog Moma, and my mother one day. I want to finally meet Jesus and just ask him one thing, "why?" He knows what I am asking. 

Leaving the hospital it felt weird...I liked it. 

A friend that I used to know, who is no longer my friends for what seems 5 to 6 years, wants to be my friend on facebook. I look at pictures of her and boyfriend. I am surprised she has a boyfriend, but I am happy that she found someone.  I have mixed feelings towards her, I do not want to have her in my future, for the past was full of distrustfulness, and insecurities. I don't know. 

So many things happen so fast, and I have to catch up with them. 

Fuckness we are...we are messed up creatures...just waiting for things to be good again, just to fuck them up all over again..intentionally, unintentionally, naturally, and stupidly recurrently.